


Penpals and Benevolent Gods

by felinedetached



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 14:06:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13148247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felinedetached/pseuds/felinedetached
Summary: Kurloz and Gamzee have been talking online, when fortuitous events decide that they will be meeting in person.A secret santa gift for@segachick





	Penpals and Benevolent Gods

You consider yourself benevolent. You always have considered yourself such - your job is the fulfilment of dreams and wishes. How could you  _ not _ be benevolent with a job like that?

 

I mean, you could, of course, fulfil the wish of someone who did not have anyone’s best interests at heart, the wishes of someone who perhaps wanted to destroy or enslave the entire planet. You tend to make a point not to fulfil those ones.

 

Some wishes, though, are so simple. All they require is the incentive to make a phone call with a guaranteed prize.

 

This case is one such case. The case of two friends - although they had never met in real life - who wished desperately to meet each other, just  _ once _ .

 

You can do that, easy.

 

Right hand raised, you smile at the earth that sits so far below you.

 

“You’re welcome,” you sing, as your fingers snap and a single purple spark flies into the sky. You think they’d like that touch.

 

* * *

 

Your name is Gamzee Makara and if you’re being totally honest with yourself, you have no motherfucking idea why you all up and decided to bring your wicked call on to this radio station. Maybe it was the mention of plane tickets to a place you kind of recognise, but really you’d just like to call it a mOtHeRfUcKiNg MiRaClE.

 

Either way, you all gone and won those motherfucking tickets, you’re all going to head to the station tomorrow to pick the miraculous tickets of flight up, and you have no idea how you’re going to tell Kurloz.

 

Or what you’re going to do when you get there.

 

Do y’all just like, message him or something? Can you even do that?

 

Well, you suppose there isn’t any other way to get Kurloz to have his know on of his mini miraculous meeting, so you decide to send the motherfucking message all up and at his motherfucking direction anyway. 

 

terminallyCapricious [TC] began pestering temperamentalCarnival [TC] at 4:20pm!

TC: HeY mOtHeRfUcKeR!  
TC: hOw YoU dOiNg On ThIs FiNe MoThErFuCkIn’ DaY?  
TC: MY WICKED SELF IS DOING MIRACULOUSLY MY FINE HOMIE.  
TC: WHAT IS ALL UP AND WONDERFUL WITH YOU, MY MIRTHFUL BROTHER FROM THE NETS OF INTER?  
TC: WeLl, A mIrAcLe JuSt AlL uP aNd PrEsEnTeD iTsElF tO mE tOdAy.  
TC: A MIRACLE? MIND SHARING UNTO ME AS TO WHAT THIS MOST MIRACULOUS OF HAPPENINGS MIGHT BE?  
TC: YoU kNoW hOw ThOsE mIrAclE bOxEs Of WoRdS sOmEtImEs HoSt CoMpEtItIoNs?  
TC: THE KIND THAT ALLOWS ONE’S EARS TO BE BLESSED WITH THE VERY MESSIAHS: THE RADIO?  
TC: YeS, tHoSe.  
TC: I cAlLeD oNe Up On ThIs MoThErFuCkIn’ FiNe AsS dAy, AnD tHe MeSsIaHs BlEsSeD mE wItH tHaT cAlL.  
TC: I hAvE aLl Up AnD oBtAiNeD sOmE mIrAcUlOuS tIcKeTs To YoUr WiCkEd LoCaTiOn In ThIs MeSsIaHs BlEsSeD wOrLd.  
TC: TICKETS? AS IN TICKETS THAT ALLOW YOU TO TAKE TO THE MOTHER FUCKING SKIES IN THE MOST MAGICAL OF WAYS?  
TC: OH FRUMPTIOUS DAY, THIS IS THE MOST RIGHTEOUS OF PATHS TO TAKE TO GET TO MY MOTHER FUCKING WICKED LOCATION MY BROTHER.  
TC: DID THEY ALL JUST HAND THEM OVER TO YOU IN SOME LUDICROUS FASHION?  
TC: ThE fIrSt CaLlEr To MiRaCuLoUsLy GeT tHrOuGh WoN tHe TiCkEtS.  
TC: bY tHe MeSsIaHs BlEsSiNg I wAs ThAt MoThErFuCkIn’ CaLlEr.  
TC: A-FUCKING-MEN MY MAN. TAKE YOURSELF AND PLACE YOURSELF IN THE SKY TO VISIT MYSELF SO THAT WE MAY BE MIRTHFUL TOGETHER.  
TC: AmEn To ThAt :o)  
TC: hOnK!  
TC: HONK!

terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased pestering temperamentalCarnival [TC] at 5pm!

 

So, you’re meeting your best friend in just a couple days, and you can’t be hardly mother fucking waiting on that mother fucking shit to happen. You are completely and utterly excited in this motherfucking miraculous stage of events. 

 

You should pack. Like, immediately. And then go pick up the tickets. And then leave, you guess? You don’t know what you’d be doing in that time before you leave and after you pick up the tickets anyway. Maybe you’ll just, eat something? If you all up and get your remember on to eat, anyway. 

 

So that is exactly what you do.

 

And in less than 24 hours, you find yourself on a plane heading away from all you’ve ever known and heading towards your current greatest wish and blessing from the messiahs on high that have all come and placed a mother fucking blessing on your sicknasty self.

 

And 2 hours after that, you find yourself in an unfamiliar airport with people you don’t know, looking for someone you’ve only ever seen vaguely blurry pictures of. The guy with a sign that reads your name is probably him tho - his hairs all poofy, like you remember.

 

“Bro!” you call, waving a hand at him, “Kurloz!” Kurloz waves back at you, moving forwards as you head towards him. You meet at the middle, pulling him into a hug and feeling him hug back, and it’s the best feeling in the whole motherfucking world.

 

“How are you, bro?” you ask. Kurloz smiles, holds up an hand, and pulls out his phone. He starts typing, and your phone starts buzzing, signifying an incoming message.

 

temperamentalCarnival [TC] began pestering terminallyCapricious [TC] at 12:49pm!

TC: I’M DOING JUST MOTHERFUCKING FINE.  
TC: AND YOU, MY MOST MIRTHFUL BROTHER?

 

“I be all kinds of fine, bro. But a motherfuckers gotta ask, why you texting me to get the communication on instead of the fineass speech of yours?”

 

TC: MY MOST FINE AND MIRACULOUS VOICE HASN'T BEEN IN USE FOR YEARS.

 

"Oh," you reply, feeling bad for a moment. Damn, how many times had you been wishing to here you best bros voice, it's a damn well shame. But that ain't matter because voice or no, you best fucking bro is  _ here _ with  _ you _ and you actually get to gander on a bro and  _ hug _ him and he's. Well, the point is that he's here with you, and everything is gonna be great. "That be changing nothing at all though, since you're the best motherfucking miracle a brother's ever received."   
  
You notice him smile again, so you give him another hug. Hugs are motherfucking miraculous, in your opinion.

 

TC: THANK YOU, MY BROTHER.  
TC: IT IS GOOD TO SEE YOUR OPINION OF ME HAS NOT CHANGED.

 

"Not even a little bit, bro," you respond, grinning. Then you pause grinning as you study the shit out of him, glancing up and down at the bro. "Uh... Bro, we look kinda similar, you ever get your notice on of that?"

 

TC: THAT IS A QUITE INTERESTING REVELATION, MY MIRACULOUS BROTHER.  
TC: PERHAPS IT HAS A DEEPER MEANING THAN JUST SIMILAR LOOKS?

 

You feel yourself grin even wider at the idea. A blood brother? A brother not only in bonds but in blood? Damn, that really would be the most fine of miracles indeed.    
  
"Fuck, a motherfucker would find that to be most motherfucking miraculous!" You tell him, excited. Kurloz's smile just makes you even more giddy at the idea. You hug him once more, the tightest motherfucking hug that a fine bro like yourself will ever give - and hopefully the tightest one Kurloz will ever receive.

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to [@littleladylulub](http://littleladylulub.tumblr.com/) and [@thatpeskyboat](http://thatpeskyboat.tumblr.com/) who both helped with the writing of this!


End file.
